Avoid Gossip

Many love to gossip, yet hate to be gossiped about.

I’ve had many experiences of being in social settings where someone will randomly mention something outrageous  *named person* did and then everyone will competitively contribute something even more shocking about said person or someone else. I always felt uneasy and eventually I distanced myself from people who gossip, keeping any contact to a tight minimum.

Why? Well, it is evident that people who gossip disrespect other peoples feelings or reputation. It’s a rude and disgusting behavioural trait. Whats not to say that one day these same people will turn around and gossip about you and your secrets?  Why would you want to invest energy and time into people you know you can’t trust?

I understand sometimes you may feel the need to share an event with someone, but if it puts the other person in a negative light, then it is much better to keep them anonymous. Also you’re left with a guilt and dirty conscience. Did I mention that gossip is often untrue or a misinterpretation of a situation?

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 Advice to deal with uncomfortable situations

1. Avoid people who are habitual ‘gossipers’
2. Keep your secrets to yourself unless its someone you trust immensely
3. If you’re in a situation where people are gossiping, light-heartedly change the topic and don’t feel shy to say the conversation is making you uncomfortable
4. Defend the person being gossiped about (then change topic)

Side notes about no.2: How do you know if you can really trust someone?

Think about how they act when they are angry with someone. I remember telling my innermost thoughts to person A when I was young and naive. Me and A stopped talking and left things on uneasy terms. A then went and told someone else private things I’ve said to them. Obviously, you should be wary of what you share with this person therafter.  A has since then apologised and I have forgive them but let’s be honest…

Even if you forgive someone for exposing your secret, don’t ever feel obliged to then continue to share secrets with them. Don’t let them guilt trip you either saying things like “I thought you forgave me! C’mon you can trust me now I’m different”. If you choose to take a chance and want to rebuild the trust then that’s fine. I’m saying don’t feel obligated to do so.

Do you think it is ever okay to gossip?